24/7 God

I don't know what it is, but lately I've just been so unmotivated to read my bible - and this comes after a season (literally, it was during the summer!) of having some unexplicable and unfounded doubts where it was difficult for me to even pray there was such turmoil going on inside me. Every time I tried (to pray) I would end up feeling angry. Again, I really cannot put my finger on anything that would have driven me to feel this way. This "phenomenon" was followed by a renewed surge of excitement for God and his incredible power. So, where am I at today? Let's just say, I have had a few motivating factors to help me out! One of them was an incident at my daughter's school that resulted in some hurt feelings and some rather raw emotion (of course this happens ALL at bedtime!). Now, I like to sleep...but at 5:30 (2 hours before I normally wake up!) the next morning, I really felt prompted to read my bible. I wrestled with the idea for a while and then succumbed. Flipping it open to no passage in particular I began to read about "forgiveness". I was really taken aback... I thought, God you are really into us. Into our kids, into our "stuff". I was so excited, not just because I could still sleep for a bit longer, but that I was able to share with my daughter at breakfast what I had read - before she went to school - before she put up walls and destroyed any remnants of friendship that were remaining. Another factor, not really a factor at all, but since I said I had a couple of factors, I'm calling this one! Sheesh! I decided to put a bible in the car. As I said before, I'm not a morning person, the bible reading thing in the morning is a struggle, as is getting out of bed...however, I do spend quite a bit of time in the car so now, whenever I have to wait in traffic or get to the school a little bit early - I read!!! I've also placed a bible at the table so I can read a few verses before school with the girls. I am feeling the "thirst" and the longing return. I have wrestled with this "doctrine" of morning devotions my entire life and it has left me feeling guilty, frustrated and under a lot of pressure. Perhaps how a "religious" person would feel if they hadn't quite completed all their "to do's". My God is a 24/7 God - why shouldn't I be?!!!

The Journey...Part 2!

I read this quote on Girl Talk Blog and I thought, yes, this is EXACTLY what the "Journey" is all about.
"Waiting on God isn't about the suspension of meaning and purpose. It's part of the meaning and purpose that God has brought into my life. Waiting on God isn't to be viewed as an obstruction in the way of the plan. Waiting is an essential part of the plan. For the child of God, waiting isn't simply about what I'll receive at the end of my wait. No, waiting is much more purposeful, efficient, and practical than that. Waiting is fundamentally about what I'll become as I wait. God is using the wait to do in and through me exactly what He's promised. Through the wait He's changing me. By means of the wait He's altering the fabric of my thoughts and desires. Through the wait He's causing me to see and experience new things about Him and His kingdom. And all of this sharpens me, enabling me to be a more useful tool in His redemptive hands."
Wow! Now try reading it again, replacing "waiting" or "wait" with "the journey". How cool is that? This sojourn that we are on is not a waste of time - but of real relevance to becoming the person God wants us to become to further His kingdom.

No Pain - No Gain

Do you like pain? How 'bout suffering? Grief? Heartache? Who does? Not me...in fact, one of my biggest fears is that when I have surrendered everything to God he is going to zap me with some sort of unbearable anguish that I know I just wouldn't be able to bear. Where is this coming from? This past weekend a girlfriend and I headed up to Campbell River for the Women Alive conference. Susie Larson was the speaker. For those of you who have heard her speak, you'll know what I mean when I say: "WOW" She is the most dynamic, real, engaging speaker I have EVER heard! EVER! Absolutely loved her...anyhow, I took some great notes while I was listening to her (although she talks at break-neck speed, barely pausing to breathe!) and they've vanished! Can't find them anywhere....but that's okay, because even though my memory is not very good - God knows what we need to hear, and so while I was doing a little bit of supper prep (Lentil Soup!!!) this afternoon, I had the radio on and was listening to my fave again - Dennis Rainey. Here's what he had to say: "God does not greatly use the man who he does not first greatly wound" This made me think back to Susie's lecture and although this was not the emphasis of her talk, it was definitely what I summized as I listened to her tell of the horrific abuse she suffered as a child, her months of being layed up in bed while pregnant and undiagnosed with Lymes disease, near death experiences, and financial hardships. All of these circumstances were intended to shape and mould her into the woman God called her to be - and what a woman she turned out to be! And although I said I was scared, part of me is a little excited about becoming a little more like Susie...Whoops! I mean Jesus - tee hee! My dear friend Alanne e-mailed me this verse just yesterday: 1Cor 4:8 We are hard pressed on everyside, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed. I like all the "but-nots" in the verse...I'm such a wimp! If you feel like doing some reading, Susie has written some great books. Check out her website: http://www.susielarson.com/homepage.html and from this site you can be directed to her blog as well.